Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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