I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I understand Curling. That high.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
