i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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