I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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