Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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