Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
