You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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