Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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