Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
