Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
vagina is talking i cant
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
