girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
