At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
