I got chris browned last night
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize