btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
