SEEEEXXX PLEASE
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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