He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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