I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
