then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
