i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
