i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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