Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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