You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
