I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
