well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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