at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
