I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
