So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
