guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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