guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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