dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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