I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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