I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize