he wants to bone in the snuggie
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
