I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
