Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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