Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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