I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
