But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
