my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
