Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
