just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
