Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
