I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
