her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
