The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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