All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
