ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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