The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i was born a porn star she said
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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