You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
