Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
