No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
