I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
