just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Drake has all the answers
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
