Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Terrible idea I love it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
