we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
