Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
