Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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