Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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