Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
