so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
