even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
