like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
