If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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