Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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