idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
