Plan B is the new Plan A
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children