girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed