I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize