Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
