I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is the high leading the old right now
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
